Going through a divorce is difficult for anyone. Letting go of the person you loved deeply, and accepting that you won’t have the life together that you had planned, can be truly devastating. Even if you know that separating is for the best, it’s not easy to say goodbye.
Life in the aftermath of a divorce can be challenging for men and women in different ways. Lots of men lack the strong social support systems that women have. They might feel like they don’t have many friends to turn to.
Furthermore, men often feel like they are discouraged from expressing their emotions, particularly when they’re feeling sad. They might be under pressure to put on a “strong” act, even when they’re breaking down inside.
There’s no avoiding the fact that life after divorce will bring difficulties. But it can also be an opportunity to learn more about yourself, grow as a person, and build a life that you love. Here are a few helpful tips for men who are dealing with depression in the midst of a divorce.
Lean on Your Friends
Even if your social circle is small, now is the time to lean on the people in your life and ask for help. Perhaps you’re worried about turning to your friends because you and your spouse shared so many mutual friends. You may not feel comfortable opening up to all of them about what happened.
In this case, you might want to talk to friends from other stages of your life, your parents, or your siblings. It could also be a good time to get out of your comfort zone and make an effort to form new connections with people through hobby groups or recreational sports teams.
Seek Therapy
Men might feel like other people won’t understand if they decide to seek therapy. They may be hesitant to talk to a counselor because they worry their peers would make fun of them. They might worry that seeing a therapist would make them weak.
But if you’re going through a divorce, you may need support from a professional. You might want to seek out a local counselor who specializes in men’s mental health.
Stick With Healthy Habits
Your sense of routine and stability has likely been disrupted by your divorce. Picking up some healthy habits can benefit your mental health.
Maybe you make a commitment to cooking dinner at home several nights per week, waking up a bit earlier to meditate, or reading a book for 30 minutes every evening.
Find a Productive Hobby
In addition to keeping up with basic healthy habits, getting involved with a productive hobby can make a huge difference in your emotional well-being. Maybe you’re interested in taking group fitness classes at a local gym, learning a new skill that you can practice at home, mastering a second language, or learning the ropes of an interesting art medium.
Anything that gets you focused on what you can create or accomplish is a plus!
Focus on the Upsides of Independence
Being divorced and single might not mean that you’re completely independent again. You might have children or other dependents, like your own parents, to care for. But chances are, you have more autonomy in your daily life than you did before.
When you’re ready, you can embrace the upsides of this independence. You may want to book a solo trip or enjoy another activity that would be much harder to do if you were married.
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Are you suffering in the aftermath of a divorce? Working with a therapist who specializes in men’s counseling can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.