Is There A Part Of Your Past That Feels Too Painful To Access?
Do you find yourself constantly reliving painful memories? Is there an event or series of events in your past that you think was traumatic, but you’re not sure? Maybe you feel embarrassed, like you should be able to just move on and let bygones be bygones. Frustrated at how stuck you feel, you may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other numbing behaviors to help you cope with your pain.
One of the hardest parts of dealing with trauma is how it can make you too afraid to pursue the things you want. For instance, if your trauma stems from an abusive relationship, you may find yourself longing for connection but fearing it at the same time. As much as you crave intimate and meaningful relationships, your fear of getting hurt again probably causes you to push people away.
In addition to feeling disconnected from others, you may feel disconnected from yourself. Because there’s a part of your experience that is too painful to access, you probably ignore it altogether, “shutting down” your emotions and using destructive behaviors to escape your own head. As a result, you may feel numb, depressed, and unable to summon any interest in getting better.
Trauma can be debilitating to live with—there’s no sugarcoating it. Thankfully, therapy with Crosswinds Center offers a chance to heal your emotional wounds by processing and resolving your trauma in a way that is safe, comfortable, and deeply empowering.
Many Examples Of Trauma Are “Microtraumas” That Fly Under The Radar
Most people associate trauma with accidents, natural disasters, terrible physical or sexual abuse, or being in a warzone. However, the most common form of trauma is “microtrauma”—experiences that may not seem traumatic on the surface but still have long-lasting effects on the psyche over time. One or two exposures may have little to no impact, but a near-daily dose of these experiences can have long-lasting consequences.
For instance, if you grew up in a home where you were consistently told that you weren’t good enough, you may internalize this message and develop a negative view of yourself. But because the experience seemed normal to you at the time—after all, it was the only upbringing you’d ever known—you may not recognize it as harmful. In the same way, millions of people struggle with the effects of trauma without even knowing it.
What’s more, our culture places a high value on appearing strong, invulnerable, and independent. While there may be times when doing so is in our best interest, refusing to let our guard down keeps us afraid to seek help or reach out for the connections we so desperately need. As a result, we only end up feeling more alone with our suffering. Our façade of strength and independence masks our aloneness and vulnerability.
Real recovery—and real strength—involves being honest about where you are in life and recognizing that you do not have to bear your burdens alone. In counseling, you have a chance to share your struggles with someone who is unbiased but still cares for you deeply and is committed to helping you shoulder the weight of your trauma.
Trauma Therapy Is A Chance To Heal The Disconnected Parts Of Yourself
Most traumas occur in the context of relationships. People close to you may have harmed or betrayed you, disrupting your innate need for emotional connection with others. In order to heal, it’s essential to have a relationship where a secure attachment of trust is allowed to develop and there is no fear of judgment or betrayal. This is what trauma therapy offers. It’s a chance to work with someone who will provide comfort, validate your sorrows, and help you heal the disconnected the parts of yourself.
In sessions together, we want to help you explore the root of your distress so that we can understand how trauma is holding you back. We will work on piecing together a narrative of your struggles that takes into account how the events in your life have contributed to the way you see yourself, how you approach relationships, and what you fear will happen if you let your guard down. Along the way, we will ensure that you are able to discuss your story in a way that does not overwhelm you or rekindle old fears.
Taking a narrative-minded approach is essential for recovery, since trauma generally makes you feel disconnected from the parts of your experience that are too painful to address. Put simply, being hurt makes you afraid to connect with the parts of yourself that were originally hurt. By breaking this disconnection in a way that is safe, healthy, and non-traumatizing, you can gain a clearer understanding of why your trauma remains unresolved and welcome the disallowed parts of yourself back into consciousness.
Ultimately, we want to help you turn the volume down on your trauma symptoms. Your instincts may tell you to bury the emotions that were disrupted by trauma, but this prevents you from dealing with them effectively. True recovery means letting yourself be present with all of your emotions and learning how to self-regulate rather than stifle the way you feel. In a relational context, this means forming secure, trusting connections with others rather than avoiding relationships out of fear. You will learn to counteract the emotions that keep you in a state of avoidance so that they do not control your relationships and social life.
Whether you’re suffering from the effects of sexual abuse, child neglect, verbally abusive parents, or any other form of trauma, we are here to tell you that you are not alone. With our support, you can reduce your emotional overwhelm, heal the disconnected parts of yourself, and experience healthy and fulfilling relationships.
You may have some questions and concerns about trauma therapy…
What I went through is too terrible for anyone to understand or believe.
It’s hard to imagine that anyone could truly enter the most foreboding places within you. You may have even tried to share your experience with someone else, but they didn’t understand and the interaction left you feeling more alone than before. At Crosswinds Center, your counselor will work to provide a “relational home” for your trauma—a place to try and see things from your perspective so that they can understand what you have gone through. While no one can fully immerse themselves in your experience, we are here to tell you that we believe you and will validate you even if no one else has.
I’m afraid that therapy will be too much, too fast.
Therapy goes at the pace that works for you. We are not in a hurry to uncover everything, patch you up, and get you back out there. You need time to trust your trauma therapist with the hardest things you’ve ever faced, so you won’t have to share anything until you are ready. If you are not emotionally prepared to go further or you feel that the process is moving too fast, we will respect that boundary.
Once we delve into my trauma, I’m afraid that things will spin out of control.
You’ve probably worked hard to keep your pain bound up as best you can because it feels unmanageable otherwise. In order to heal from trauma, however, it is essential to let go of your sense of control and be present with every part of yourself. If you’re worried that things will be unmanageable, our therapists will stay with you as you learn to navigate painful emotions. Furthermore, our clinicians are often available to work with you more than once a week if you’d like extra support.
Your Past Doesn’t Have To Hold You Back In Life
If you find yourself constantly replaying the past in your head or unable to move on from painful relationships, we encourage you to take heart. Counseling can help you get to the core of your trauma and process it in a way that is safe and healthy so you can move forward with peace and assurance. To contact us, you can call 833-710-7770 or refer to our online contact form.
Because of the COVID-19 crisis, we provide a hybrid of telehealth and in-person trauma treatment sessions.