You’ve recently gone through a divorce, and splitting from the person whom you once thought you would spend the rest of your life with has sent you reeling. Your daily routines have completely changed. You feel like there’s too much space in your house. And sometimes, you catch yourself wondering who you really are anymore. Without your spouse, you feel incomplete. You want nothing more than to reclaim your independence again and start putting yourself first, but just don’t know where to start.
To regain your sense of self in the wake of a divorce, you don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. Here’s how to start making small changes that will help you feel comfortable in your own skin again.
Embrace Your Free Time
Your divorce has probably opened up a lot of space in your life — and at first, that might seem a bit lonely and disorienting. But now, you have the opportunity to embrace all of the hobbies, activities, and interests that didn’t interest your ex. Use that newfound free time for all of the pastimes that you pushed to the back burner when you were married!
Sign up for an art class, get back to a sport that you missed, rediscover the music and movies that your ex didn’t like, and remember that you get to be unapologetic about the way you spend your free time now.
Let Your Space Reflect Your Personality
Perhaps you’re still living in a house that you bought with your ex. Or maybe you’ve purchased a new home, signed a lease for a rental, or temporarily moved in with your family. No matter where you’ve landed, you can find ways to make the space your own.
This could involve putting up the artwork you love or framing photographs of your friends and family, painting the walls or hanging up tapestries if you’re not able to paint, or even placing houseplants around your space. This is your chance to create a space that truly reflects you.
Reconnect with Your Loved Ones
When you were in an unhappy marriage, you might have lost touch with some of your friends. Now is the time to reconnect. Offer to host your friends more often, if possible. Your house will feel full and lively again!
What if you’ve lost some of your friends as a result of the divorce, or you aren’t particularly close with your family? If that’s the case, it’s time to focus on expanding your social circle. Look into local hobby groups, and try to show up to events regularly to work on making new friends.
Pick Up a Creative Hobby
Right now, you might be having trouble with rumination. Despite trying to shift your focus, you may be thinking about your ex, and the circumstances around your divorce, day in and day out. You can process these emotions through a creative hobby. Try writing in a journal, painting, or even taking a dance class. You might feel a little lighter after.
Care for Your Physical and Mental Health
Finally, it’s important to keep in mind that going through a divorce can be very tough on your mental and physical health. Do your best to stick to a regular sleep schedule, and make sure that you’re drinking plenty of water. It can be tough to keep up with cooking healthy meals, so consider meal-prepping. Don’t hesitate to see a therapist if you feel overwhelmed by all of these changes.
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Are you struggling to find yourself again after a divorce? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for women’s counseling.