Are you concerned that you’ve been victimized by a narcissist? Narcissism describes a degree of self-involvement so extreme that the narcissist completely ignores the needs and wants of those around them.

The narcissist often holds a very high opinion of themselves, while everyone else around them simply exists as a side character who serves a temporary purpose in the narcissist’s life. At first, a narcissist can come across as very charming, but over time, their true colors will begin to show.

How can you tell if you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse? It’s important to keep an eye out for prominent signs. Here are a few common indicators.

Controlling Behavior

Narcissists are always trying to exert control over others. They might try to control their image and how they are seen in public, how the people they are close to behaving, or what other people say about them.

Whether you are a friend, relative, or romantic partner of a narcissist, they will inevitably try to control your behavior. They might try to impose limits on what you can say, do, wear, or eat, or where you can go. Controlling behavior is one of the most common warning signs of narcissistic abuse.

Lying

Narcissists cannot stop themselves from lying. If someone in your life is regularly telling you little white lies, this does not necessarily mean they are a narcissist. Narcissists will often tell big lies without any regard for the truth.

In fact, they don’t particularly care about the truth—they will say whatever they need to in order to get the outcome they want. They might display a complete disregard for facts. Even if you call them out on a lie, they will double down rather than admit the truth.

Gaslighting

Although gaslighting and lying can be similar in nature, they are two different concepts. When someone gaslights you, they take it a step further than lying—they are trying to get you to doubt your own reality. Basically, they want you to distrust your own perceptions.

For example, if you are dating a narcissist, and you’re concerned that they are not being loyal, you might try to bring up the signs of infidelity you’ve noticed, only for them to pin the blame on you.

They might call you crazy, tell you that the real issue in the relationship is your lack of trust, and accuse you of snooping. By the end of the interaction, the gaslighter will leave you wondering if the whole thing really was in your head.

Social Isolation

The narcissist always wants to be the center of attention. They see no reason why the people in their lives should really have a need for anyone else. But naturally, once the narcissist no longer has a use for these people, they will be tossed to the curb.

A victim of a narcissist can easily end up being socially isolated.

Turning on the Charm

Even when the narcissist is abusing someone, they can turn on the charm around other people. This can make the victim feel even more doubtful about their judgment of the situation.

They might see the narcissist treating other people nicely and wonder what they did to provoke the narcissist. But this “charming” treatment is just more manipulation—the narcissist will only be kind and flattering to others as a means to an end. This flip-flopping behavior is an indicator of narcissism.

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Do you suspect that you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse? Talking to a therapist can help you heal and work on your relationships. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.