Sometimes, the weight of societal expectations can feel like a huge burden. Perhaps you feel you need to look a certain way, and you just can’t meet that cultural standard. Or maybe you feel you need to get certain accomplishments under your belt by a certain age.

Yet you worry that you’re behind compared to your social circle. Alternatively, you might feel like people expect you to act in a way that doesn’t feel natural to you. But you can learn to let go of societal expectations and live on your own terms.

Here are a few ways to reframe your expectations for yourself and develop a healthy sense of self-confidence in the face of pressure.

Break Down Negative Thought Patterns

You might hold several negative beliefs about yourself based on being out of alignment with societal expectations. But do these beliefs actually hold up under scrutiny? It’s a good idea to thoroughly examine your thought patterns to see if they are truly supported by evidence.

Take apart your beliefs to look for the roots of these thoughts. Chances are, you’ll find that the negative thoughts you have about yourself are not necessarily true. You can begin rewriting your thought patterns based on your personal expectations for yourself.

Learn How to Practice Self-Assessment

How can you tell when you’re where you really want to be in life – and not judge yourself based on where other people expect you to be? You need to learn the art of realistic self-assessment. Consider your own goals and what you need to do in order to meet them.

Sometimes, spending time away from social media can be helpful for self-assessment. It’s all too easy to compare yourself to others when you’re scrolling!

Cross-Check With People You Trust

What if you simply don’t trust your own opinion of yourself right now? Maybe your own sense of self-awareness has been skewed after years of trying to conform to societal expectations. But if you have trusted friends who you know you can confide in, it’s okay to check in with them about your feelings.

They will likely reassure you that you do not have to fall in line with societal pressures in order to be worthy of love or success. Sometimes, hearing a positive opinion from someone who cares about you can be validating.

Recognize Your Own Progress

There’s a good chance that you’re simply not aware of all the progress you have made towards your own goals. Writing in a journal can help you see just how far you’ve come – regardless whether your journey fulfills what society expects from you.

As you look back on your journal and reflect, you’ll see that you’ve achieved things you didn’t think were possible before. You’ll be able to recognize all that you’re really capable of.

Start Saying “No”

It can be difficult to say “No” to people’s requests without feeling guilty. But in order to live by your own values, this is a word that you’ll want to get used to saying. If you tend to agree to everything that someone asks of you, it’s time to start practicing saying “No.”

The first time you do it might feel awkward, but over time, saying “No” when you know that something just isn’t right for you will feel empowering. It gives you a sense of agency over your life and allows you to live according to your own principles.

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Are you struggling under the weight of societal expectations? Talking to a therapist can help. We offer both men’s counseling and women’s counseling. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.