When you’re around your close friends and family, you expect to feel comfortable and relaxed. You want to feel like you can let your guard down. While the rest of the world might make you feel stressed and overwhelmed at times, your close relationships should feel like a calm oasis. But what if this isn’t the case? What if you have been feeling anxious about your close relationships lately?
This doesn’t mean that your relationships are toxic, or that you have to cut ties with these friends or relatives. In fact, there are many causes of anxiety in close relationships, and most of the time, these issues can be remedied with honest conversations and time.
Here are a few common reasons people experience anxiety in close relationships.
Insecurity
Perhaps you’ve been comparing your life to the lives of your friends and relatives, and these comparisons are making you feel insecure. You might be wondering if you really measure up to the other people in your social circle. Maybe you feel like you’re behind in your career, or that your love life is stagnant.
Sometimes insecurity can turn into anxiety. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to turn inward and explore where these feelings of inadequacy are coming from, and how you could work to process and release these emotions.
Anger
Can anxiety and anger be connected? Absolutely. Maybe one of your loved ones said or did something that upset you, but you didn’t know how to express your feelings to them. Perhaps you’ve been holding these emotions inside for quite some time, and now, being around this person makes you feel somewhat anxious.
If you suspect that your anxiety is related to unexpressed anger, you’ll want to talk to your loved one about how you’re feeling. Getting these emotions off your chest can help you get rid of this tension between you.
Vulnerability
Have you recently opened up to one of your loved ones about a topic that makes you feel especially vulnerable? Sometimes, vulnerability and anxiety are connected. You might be questioning whether you should have said anything at all. Or you may be anxious because you feel like you can’t be vulnerable to a particular person. If it’s the latter, it may be time to reconsider this relationship.
Jealousy
Jealousy is a bit different from feeling insecure due to comparisons. If you’re feeling jealous of something, it’s because you feel a sense of entitlement to something that they have. For instance, a friend might have gotten the promotion at work that you wanted, or they may have closed on a nice home while you’re still house hunting.
At times, jealousy and anxiety are linked—you might be anxious around someone because you feel ashamed of your jealousy. Or you may be anxious around a friend because you suspect that they’re jealous of something you worked hard to obtain. Jealousy can spell out the end of a friendship, so if this is an issue, it’s best to address the problem head-on with your friend.
Uncertainty
Anxiety is often caused by uncertainty. Maybe your loved one has acted hot and cold towards you. Sometimes they try to get closer with you, while at other times, they push you away and become distant. This inconsistent behavior can bring you down and make you wonder where you really stand. If your loved one cannot change this behavioral pattern, this relationship may be headed in an unhealthy direction.
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Are you struggling with anxiety in your close relationships? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.