Lately, it seems like you and your partner barely talk. Maybe you’ve tried to tell them about an incident that upset you, but they simply ignored you. Or perhaps they seem distracted when you’re talking about important issues.

Perhaps you and your partner used to argue frequently, which worried you. But now that you’re hardly communicating, the future of your relationship seems even more dire.

Alternatively, you might feel detached from your relationship. When your partner tries to bring their problems and concerns to you, you check out. Maybe you’re not sure if you want to stay together. But you just don’t know how to end things gracefully.

If you relate to these scenarios, you and your partner might be emotionally disengaged. Let’s explore why emotional disengagement can hurt your relationship.

What is Emotional Disengagement?

Have you ever opened up to your partner, only to feel like they completely shut down in response? Or maybe they barely even registered what you said. Emotional disengagement refers to relationships in which one or both parties no longer have any real investment in the future of the relationship.

Instead of fighting when things get rough, some couples simply disconnect from each other emotionally without actually breaking up.

What Does Emotional Disengagement Look Like?

Maybe you’ve told your partner that you were frustrated with the direction your relationship was going in, and as you talked, your partner simply scrolled on their phone. You might have asked your partner for their opinion on a future decision, and they indicated they did not care about the outcome rather than giving an answer.

You no longer spend your downtime together unless you have to, and you don’t check in with each other throughout the day. Mentally, one or both of you might feel you’re basically single.

Other Forms of Emotional Disengagement

Emotional disengagement can also occur in other forms. For instance, when your partner is emotionally disengaged, your accomplishments won’t register with them. Maybe you graduated from a difficult program, landed a new job, or got a promotion.

Instead of being happy for you, your partner doesn’t have much to say at all. Or maybe you’ve become distant enough from your partner that you haven’t noticed their own hard work towards their personal goals.

Why is Emotional Disengagement So Harmful?

When you and your partner are fighting, it can be painful. But sometimes, the reason that you’ve both stuck around despite the arguments is that you genuinely believe that the relationship can be fixed. However, once you’re emotionally disengaged, it’s because you no longer care whether the relationship improves.

Maybe you or your partner secretly wonder if you should just call it quits, but for some reason, you haven’t been able to make that difficult choice. When you’re emotionally disengaged, it’s a roadblock to fixing things—you both have to be truly committed to creating a brighter future.

Repairing Your Relationship

Can you ever make things right once one or both of you has become emotionally disengaged? Although it can be challenging, it is possible. If both partners are open to working with a couples therapist, you may be able to focus on why you got together in the first place and revive the spark that kept you connected.

Couples therapy is not an individual pursuit. Both partners need to be open to the idea of repairing their relationship for this process to be effective.

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Are you worried that you and your partner have become emotionally disengaged from your relationship? Working with a couples therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.