Living with a chronic illness can be challenging. Having the support of your spouse can make things easier at times. Yet it also introduces new problems. For example, you might pretend to feel fine when you’re not, simply because you don’t want to let your spouse or your in-laws down.

If you have a chronic illness, you should be able to rely on your spouse as one of your biggest supporters. But ensuring that they understand your needs takes time and effort. Here’s how to address some common issues that can occur when you’re married with a chronic illness, from laying out your personal needs to ensuring your home is comfortable for you.

Communicate Your Needs and Boundaries

Don’t be shy about speaking up when it comes to your needs. Talk to your partner about how you feel on a day-to-day basis. Let them know if your energy levels are high or low. Sometimes, this might mean canceling or adjusting plans based on your symptoms.

You don’t need to try to push through the pain for the sake of your spouse. Discuss how you can handle canceling plans with others in a respectful manner should the issue come up. You can also clue them in on the signs that your symptoms are flaring up.

Create a Comfortable Home Environment

Do you live in a home where you feel truly comfortable? Cohabitating with someone means that you have the benefit of another person helping you out around the house. But it also might mean making compromises when it comes to the location and design of your living space.

What if you and your spouse are thinking about buying a home or moving to a new rental? Make sure that it suits your needs in regard to your health. Think about which design features would serve you best, especially if you use a mobility aid. You can also think about choosing an area that’s close to your doctors or other healthcare providers.

Keep Your Spouse Updated on Your Treatment Plan

Prior to getting married, you might have gotten used to managing your treatment on your own. Part of you might have felt like you didn’t want to share details about your treatment with other people because they would try to give you unsolicited advice.

But within your marriage, it’s important to be able to share your treatment plan with your spouse. This might include your schedule for doctor’s appointments, your medication protocol, lifestyle habits that your doctor recommends, or other forms of therapy.

Let Your Spouse Be Your Advocate

Do you ever feel like your doctor does not take you seriously? Do other people tend to diminish the severity of your symptoms? At moments like these, your spouse can be your strongest advocate. Talk to them about when you might need their support in social situations, and how they can show up for you.

Find Low-Maintenance Activities You Both Enjoy

Sometimes, your chronic illness might make it hard to get out of the house and engage in activities that require a lot of energy. It’s a good idea to come up with a few activities that you and your spouse both enjoy that won’t put you in this position. Whether you like to watch classic movies, play video games, read novels and discuss your favorite books, or any other low-impact activity, these hobbies can be a fun way to bond.

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Are you struggling to manage your chronic illness within your marriage? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for couples counseling.