Perhaps it’s been a long time since you’d your spouse had sex. You miss the intimacy that you once had. But you don’t know how to get it back. Maybe you’ve tried to initiate with your spouse, yet they weren’t in the mood. Or maybe they’ve made an effort in the bedroom, but you just didn’t feel the spark. You’re frustrated, and perhaps you’ve even been irritable with each other.

Despite feeling like your relationship has been stuck in a rut, you don’t want to give up on each other. Instead, you need to find a way to move forward together. These tips can help you and your spouse rebuild your intimate connection and repair your marriage.

Address Lingering Sources of Stress

First, it’s important to consider whether or not stress might be affecting your sex life. Think back to when you and your partner started feeling disconnected. Were you dealing with any other challenges as a couple or in your individual lives? If so, this issue might be the real root of the problem. Talk to your spouse about the source of stress in your marriage. If you can tackle this problem as a team first, it might revitalize your sex life. But if you ignore it, you’ll end up stuck in the same place.

Schedule Regular Dates

Maybe you and your partner simply haven’t been making time for each other recently. You may have gotten busy in your personal lives or at work. Now, these other time commitments are interrupting your time with each other. Clear out room in your schedule for regular dates. You could go out for dinner and a movie, try different coffee shops in your neighborhood, or plan for weekend hikes. Pick activities that suit you, and make the most of your free time.

Get Fit Together

If you’re feeling physically sluggish, it can actually affect your libido. You don’t need to spend hours at the gym to fix your intimacy problems, but staying active and eating a nutritious diet certainly can’t hurt. You and your partner may want to commit to going on daily walks or even stepping out of your comfort zone to try an activity like couples yoga!

Cultivate Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy lays the foundation for physical intimacy. Make sure that you’re opening up about your feelings to your partner. If you’ve been holding back about anything going on in your life, now is the time to share your emotions. Being vulnerable yourself can help your partner feel comfortable sharing their own thoughts and emotions.

Be Physically Affectionate

Combining physical affection with heartfelt conversations can help you deepen your connection. Let your partner rest their head on your shoulder when they want to talk about a rough day, or hold hands as you go for walks.

Consider Going to Couples Therapy

Finally, don’t assume that you need to take on this issue entirely on your own. It’s okay to seek out help from a couples therapist. They can guide you through complicated conversations while respecting each other’s points of view, help you address communication problems that you might not have even noticed, and identify new ways to foster intimacy in your relationship. Through therapy, you can figure out how you might be “blocking” yourselves from being intimate. You can also consider how you can shift your behavior to make each other feel truly loved and appreciated as they are.

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Are you and your spouse trying to rebuild a sexless marriage? A therapist can help you along this journey. Reach out to us to learn more about our couples therapy services.