How to Allow Yourself to Experience Intimacy

Maybe you can’t seem to enjoy intimacy. Perhaps you’ve just gotten into your first romantic relationship in a long time, and you feel like you can’t let your guard down.

You may have had a traumatic experience that has forced you to become more protective of yourself, and it seems like no matter how kind your partner is, you’ll always have trouble putting your trust in them. You might also be dealing with a mental health condition like anxiety or depression that has sapped your desire for intimacy.

But you don’t need to resign yourself to feeling this way forever. With these tips, you can gradually learn to enjoy intimacy again.

Practice Self-Care

First, it’s important to take good care of yourself. If you’re not meeting your own needs, it can be difficult to believe that you deserve love and care from someone else.

Cook yourself delicious meals at home, take long bubble baths, exercise on a regular basis, try to go to sleep and wake up around the same times each day, and tidy up your space when you have the time. Caring for yourself reminds you that you do deserve love and affection from a partner.

Yoga and Mindfulness

By incorporating yoga and meditation into your daily routines, you might notice yourself experiencing lower levels of anxiety. Both of these practices can help you stay calm and collected. Plus, they’re great for your mental and physical health. In the long run, getting comfortable and learning to staying present in your body can help you enjoy intimacy with your partner.

Address Mental Health Concerns

Do you suspect that you’re struggling with anxiety or depression? If so, this could be affecting your ability to enjoy intimacy. You might be worried about getting closer with your partner. Alternatively, you might be living with symptoms of depression that have affected your libido.

mixed race couple hugging one anotherIf you’re dealing with a mental health condition that is having a negative impact on your quality of life, it’s important to seek help. You may need to work with a therapist in order to learn how to manage your symptoms. Don’t blame yourself for a lack of intimacy in your relationships if you’re struggling with your mental health. Generally, you’ll need to address these issues first if you want to see changes in this area.

Get Comfortable

You don’t need to rush yourself into intimacy with anyone. Sometimes, partners feel mismatched in terms of their comfort levels when it comes to intimacy. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, and be honest about your comfort level.

You don’t need to justify your reasons or feel embarrassed. A loving partner will always be patient when it comes to intimacy. Take the time to simply get comfortable with each other. Once you’ve gotten to know your partner on a deeper level, you’ll naturally begin to feel more at ease.

Foster Trust with Your Partner

At the end of the day, you want to fully trust someone before you’re intimate with them. If you don’t feel ready for intimacy with someone, your body is letting you know that you need more time to figure out whether or not you can trust them. Listen to that sign and trust your intuition.

If you’ve gone through a breakup recently, or if you’ve made it through another difficult experience, you will need to build a strong foundation of trust with someone new before you can be truly comfortable with intimacy.

Are you struggling to allow yourself to enjoy intimacy? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for couples therapy.