Do You Feel Like You’re Missing Out On Life?
Are you a man who’s dealing with anxiety or depression but you haven’t told anyone? Do you feel like you’re always having to hide your emotional difficulties and act like you have it all together? Perhaps you’re ashamed to talk about your struggles. Or maybe you simply haven’t gotten what you wanted out of life, so you are filled with disappointment. As a result, you may be turning to destructive habits like internet or pornography addiction or drug and alcohol abuse.
When you’re feeling sad or anxious, your emotional state often impacts other areas of your life. Your relationships may start to deteriorate. Perhaps there’s a lack of affection between you and your significant other—it’s as if they don’t seem interested in you anymore. Or maybe you simply feel like you aren’t getting your needs met—you’ve been so busy caring for everyone else’s needs, but you’ve neglected your own.
Deep down, you may worry that you’re missing out on life. You probably wish you had someone to talk to, but allowing someone to see your struggles is embarrassing. If this is the case, we encourage you to take heart. Specialized counseling for men can teach you new ways to express yourself and enrich your relationships in ways you never dreamed.
As Men, We Like To Live On A Great White Horse—But What Happens We Fall Off?
As men, we are taught to hide our emotions. Our culture tells us we’re supposed to be like a sturdy oak—our vulnerabilities are unwelcome and our weaknesses must be hidden. As a result, many of us end up living on a kind of great white horse of toughness and heroism. We like to put all our love, care, and pain into action, not words.
But what happens when we fall off that great white horse? What happens when we cry, grieve, or show fear? Many of us feel embarrassed. Society only lets us feel four emotions: happiness, hunger, hostility, and horniness. Anything else is looked at as unmanly or cowardly. If those of us who are heterosexual show affection to our male friends, for instance, we may worry that others will question our sexuality. Put simply, we’re afraid to be vulnerable and that fear robs us of supportive connections we so desperately need.
However, contrary to the messages our culture tells us, vulnerability is not the same as weakness. It takes courage to be vulnerable. There is strength in coming to terms to with your feelings and being honest about your struggles. Here at Crosswinds Center Counseling, we offer a judgment-free space where you can explore the whole range of your feelings and practice self-care in whatever way suits you best.
Counseling Provides A Chance For Men To Take Off Their Armor And Be Themselves
It’s hard to talk about painful emotions and experiences. In counseling with us, you will have a safe and welcoming space to say whatever is on your mind without any fear of judgment. Therapy provides an opportunity for you to take off your armor and be yourself. Here, you are free to give voice to the deep needs, losses, and disappointments that may seem dangerous or unwelcome in other places.
The intake process at Crosswinds Center is very relaxed and conversational. The first session is focused on getting to know you and figuring out if we’re a good fit. Our primary interest is not in managing symptoms or making a diagnosis, but in helping you grow as a person. Compassion and empathy are central to our mission.
Our practice takes a very relational focus in counseling for men. We want to understand your core relational dynamics and how they have manifested in past and present relationships. We’ll look at the relationship pitfalls you may have unwittingly stumbled into and explore ways to avoid them in the future. Our goal is for you to experience relationships that enrich and empower you to be truer to your authentic self.
Additionally, we want to help you improve emotional awareness. This often means looking at how attempts to hide vulnerability have contributed to your current symptoms. Oftentimes, the use of action—whether it’s work, games, porn, sex, or alcohol—is used to mask emotional pain that men are afraid to show. Our purpose is to help you put your feelings into words and find healthier, more productive outlets for your pain.
As a man in today’s world, it’s easy to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders—that you simply can’t fail, and that going to therapy is an admission of failure. But it is only by coming to terms with our vulnerabilities that we are able to grow. Besides, the goal of counseling is not to is not to break you down, but to improve your self-esteem and help you live with greater strength, courage, authenticity.
You may have some concerns about counseling for men…
I don’t want to appear weak.
Allowing someone else to see your vulnerabilities is a sign of courage and trust. It takes great strength to come to terms with pain and trauma and open up to someone else about them. Therapy for men is a time to build emotional resilience. It’s a chance for you to overcome whatever self-judgment you feel towards yourself and conquer the fears that hold you back from living your best life.
I don’t want to mess up my relationship or marriage.
Relationships may be a focal point of our approach, but it is never our intention to push someone toward any particular decision regarding their relationships. We hope that our work will lead you toward a deeper and more fulfilling connection with your partner. No matter where life takes you, however, your therapist will walk with you. Therapy can help you remove the barriers that prevent you from being your authentic self.
Being in touch with my emotions will make me a more fragile person.
When you allow yourself to experience the full spectrum of your emotions, it helps you feel like a more complete person. It empowers you to be more alive, more present, and more capable of managing your pain without being destructive. This doesn’t mean you have to fall apart or tear up every time something bad happens. But even if you do cry…so what? We won’t tell anyone.
Build Emotional Resilience As You Go Forward In Life
If you feel like you’re struggling in silence and you wish you had someone you could pour yourself out to, we encourage you to connect with us. Working together, we can help you find healthier ways to communicate and more productive outlets for your pain. To get started, you can call us at 833-710-7770 or use our contact form.
Right now, due to COVID-19, all our counseling services for men are offered through secure online formats.