If your child has lived through a traumatic event, you might be wondering how you can move forward as a family. Helping your child process and heal from what happened is a major undertaking. Your community may have gone through a natural disaster, or your family might have suffered from a sudden loss that left your child grieving.
Perhaps your child was injured in an accident, or they have received a shocking diagnosis. Alternatively, you may be a foster or adoptive parent who is wondering how to help your child cope with trauma they experienced before you welcomed them into your home.
As a parent, your child needs your help to get through this difficult time. Here’s how you can support your child if they have gone through a traumatic experience.
Work with Therapists Individually and Together
You do not have to try to support your child entirely on your own. It’s a good time to start searching for a therapist who works with children and families. Depending on your child’s age, they may have some sessions individually, while you’re present at other sessions.
You may also want to attend family therapy sessions with your partner or other family members. This will help you ensure that your family is on the same page.
Stick to Regular Routines
Trauma can upend a child’s world. Children need predictability and stability to feel safe and calm. However, trauma disrupts that sense of stability. It can take quite some time for children to feel truly safe again.
That’s why it’s so important for parents to go the extra mile to ensure that their child’s routines remain relatively predictable after a traumatic event. Try to keep your daily routines from being interrupted. Over time, your child will feel more grounded, as they’ll be able to have realistic expectations for each day.
Be Ready to Talk About Tough Topics
In the aftermath of trauma, your child might have some tough questions, and they may try to talk to you about topics that are upsetting or disturbing. Part of you might not want to have these conversations, but you should do your best to answer your child in an age-appropriate way.
It’s okay to say that you don’t know all the answers, yet don’t shut down the conversation. Comfort your child and let them know you’re always there to talk.
Stay Calm When Your Child is Distressed
Your child needs to see you as a source of stability. This does not mean you have to suppress all of your emotions or pretend that everything is okay, especially if you’ve seen your child suffer through trauma. But when they come to you for support, it’s important to appear calm and collected.
During difficult times, seeing adults staying centered helps children feel more secure. It gives the impression that things will get better in the long run.
Respect Your Child’s Limits
Right now, your child might not be feeling particularly confident or adventurous. They may be shying away from things they used to enjoy doing. Furthermore, they might have even regressed in terms of some of their behaviors. During this time, you have to respect your child’s limits and boundaries.
If you’re concerned that they’re trying to avoid commitments like going to school, trying to force them into it with tough love isn’t necessarily the best approach. A therapist can help your family overcome challenges like this.
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Are you trying to figure out how to best support your child after a traumatic event? Both of you might benefit from working with a therapist. Contact us to learn more about our child and adolescent counseling options or trauma therapy.