Grief can be debilitating, no matter the circumstances. But losing someone unexpectedly can trigger a range of complicated, devastating emotions. Many people are not familiar with the concept of traumatic grief until they experience it for themselves.
Traumatic grief can be difficult for those who haven’t been through it to understand, leaving sufferers feeling completely alone when they need support more than ever. Furthermore, experiencing trauma and grief side by side can prolong the experience of deep grief, making it even harder for the grieving person to find the joy in everyday life again.
Let’s explore what traumatic grief is and how it differs from traditional ideas of grief.
Sudden, Unexpected Loss
Traumatic grief often occurs in the wake of a loss that comes with no warning. This is not to imply that saying goodbye to someone after they have suffered from a prolonged illness is easy. Many people who lose their loved ones in accidents or in other unexpected circumstances feel that they never had the chance to say goodbye.
They may feel that their loved one was also cheated of the opportunity to pass away surrounded by people who care about them. The emotional turmoil that comes with processing grief out of the blue can be truly traumatic.
Violent Death
Some people lose their loved ones in violent situations. Their loved one may have been a victim of murder, or they might lose someone in a war or conflict situation. This can stir up all kinds of complex feelings.
They might not be able to stand thinking about the pain that their loved one suffered. The effects of traumatic grief can be multiplied if someone witnessed their loved one’s death.
Grief and PTSD
When someone experiences grief alongside post-traumatic stress disorder, it’s considered traumatic grief. The effects of each condition exacerbate the other. Someone who is dealing with traumatic grief is not only experiencing typical symptoms of grief, from crying frequently to missing their loved one, to losing interest in their usual hobbies—they’re also living with symptoms of PTSD at the same time.
These symptoms can include feeling triggered by reminders of their loved ones passing, panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares contributing to insomnia, and even physical aches and pains.
Anger and Frustration
Traumatic grief is also characterized by anger. If your loved one died suddenly, especially in violent circumstances, it’s only natural to feel intensely angry about what happened. This is also true for people who lose loved ones at a young age.
You may feel furious that your loved one did not get to experience major life milestones, or that you did not get to see certain plans you had made together come to life. You might feel frustrated by the sheer unfairness of the situation. All of these strong emotions are completely normal in the wake of a traumatic loss.
Fear of Death
Living through the traumatic loss of a loved one can leave you with an intense fear of death. You might fear getting into an accident every time you get behind the wheel of your car. Sometimes, you may have trouble sleeping at night because you fear being vulnerable.
It’s normal to feel a sudden awareness of your own mortality after losing a loved one. But these feelings can be magnified after a traumatic loss. The overwhelming fear of death can prevent you from engaging in activities you used to enjoy, or even leaving your home for a period of time.
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Are you struggling to cope with traumatic grief? Working with a therapist can help you heal. Reach out today to discuss how trauma therapy can help you or to schedule your first session.